Chương 15
I stopped in the doorway.
“You listened?”
“You left your phone on the table.”
She looked guilty.
“I’m sorry.”
I sat down.
“Play it again.”
Diane’s voice came through the speaker.
“Clara, I know you hate me right now, and maybe you should.”
There was background noise behind her.
Traffic, perhaps.
“I shouldn’t have touched Emma.”
Her voice caught slightly.
“I was angry and I made it worse.”
Priya looked at me.
I kept my face still.
Diane continued.
“But you need to understand that Mark has been lying for years.”
A pause.
“He told me you agreed to the payments.”
My hand tightened.
“He told me the trust owed him for what he sacrificed marrying into your family.”
Priya muttered, “Jesus.”
Then Diane’s voice became quieter.
“He told me your grandfather was using him.”
Another pause.
“And I believed what I wanted to believe.”
That sentence sounded different from the rest.
Not rehearsed.
Not clean.
Then came the part Priya had mentioned.
“You think this is your fault, Clara, but you don’t understand what Mark is capable of when he’s cornered.”
There was another breath.
“I do.”
The message ended.
I replayed only that last part.
I do.
Priya said, “She sounds afraid.”
“Yes.”
“You believe her?”
“I believe she’s afraid.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“No.”
I looked toward the dark windows.
The lake beyond them was invisible.
Only our reflections remained.
At 10:26, Mark called.
I let it ring.
At 10:31, he called again.
At 10:40, a text came.
Please let me speak to Emma.
I stared at it for a long time.
Then another.
I know I handled everything wrong.
Another.
I’m not asking you to forgive me.
Just let me talk to my daughter.
I wanted to believe that message.
That was the worst part.
I wanted the version of Mark who drove through freezing rain for a stuffed rabbit.
The version who sat beside Emma’s crib during her fever because he was afraid to sleep.
The version who cried in the hospital bathroom after Lily was born because he thought I had not seen him.
I wanted him to exist more than the man on the porch.
I took the phone upstairs.
Emma was still awake.
“Your dad wants to talk to you.”
Her eyes widened.
“You don’t have to.”
She thought for a moment.
“Can you stay?”
“Yes.”
I called Mark and put the phone on speaker.
He answered instantly.
“Clara?”
“Emma is here.”
Silence.
Then his voice changed.
“Hey, bug.”
Emma’s face crumpled before she controlled it.
He had called her that since she was three.
“Hi.”
“How’s your face?”
She touched her cheek.
“It hurts.”
Mark inhaled.
“I’m sorry.”
Emma looked at me.
I nodded slightly.
She could say anything or nothing.
“Why didn’t you stop Grandma?”
Mark did not answer immediately.
“I should have.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I froze.”
I closed my eyes.
Not true.
But closer than his excuses yesterday.
Emma stared at the phone.
“You said she was right.”
“I know.”
“Did you mean it?”
“No.”
Another pause.
“At least, not the way it sounded.”
I opened my eyes.
Emma’s mouth tightened.
“What way did you mean it?”
Mark stumbled.
“I was trying to calm everybody down.”
“That didn’t calm me down.”
“No.”
His voice cracked slightly.
“No, I guess it didn’t.”
Emma looked at me again.
I stayed silent.
“Are you mad at Mom?”
Mark took too long.
“I’m upset about a lot of things.”
“That means yes.”
“Emma.”
“You always say that when you don’t want to say yes.”
He made a small sound that might have been a laugh.
Then he stopped himself.
“I don’t want you in the middle of this.”
“I’m already in the middle.”
The sentence hurt because she sounded older than ten.
Mark went quiet.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
Emma shook her head before answering.
“No.”
“All right.”
She looked surprised.
“So you’re not mad?”
“I’m sad.”
Her eyes filled again.
“But no.”
That was probably the best thing he had said in twenty-four hours.
Then he ruined it.
“Your mom doesn’t have to keep you away from me forever.”
Emma froze.
I reached for the phone.
She stopped me.
“She didn’t.”
“Bug, I just mean—”
“I said no.”
“Okay.”
“You came to the house and kicked the door.”
“I was upset.”
“You scared Lily.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“You scared me.”
Mark said nothing.
Emma swallowed.
“You keep saying you didn’t mean to do things after you do them.”
I felt that sentence land in my chest.
Mark must have felt it too.
His voice was barely audible when he answered.
“I know.”
Emma looked exhausted.
“I want to sleep.”
“Okay.”
“Good night.”
“I love you.”
She hesitated.
“I know.”
Then she ended the call herself.
For several seconds she stared at the screen.
“Was that mean?”
“No.”
“It felt mean.”
“It was honest.”
She lay back down.
“Dad sounded weird.”
“How?”
“Like when he’s trying not to cry.”
I sat beside her.
“He probably was.”
She looked at me.
“That makes me feel bad.”
“I know.”
“Do you feel bad?”
“Yes.”
“Even though you’re mad?”
“Yes.”
She nodded slowly.
“People are confusing.”
“That is the most accurate thing anyone has said today.”
She smiled faintly.
This time, she fell asleep within minutes.
I went downstairs and found Priya asleep on the couch with the television flickering silently.
I covered her with the blanket and turned it off.
Then I sat alone at the kitchen table.
At 11:58, an email arrived from Arthur.
Subject: Tomorrow.
The message was short.
Do not meet Diane alone.
Do not promise money, immunity, silence, or protection.
Let her talk.
Ask open questions.
Do not confront her with evidence she has not mentioned.
Call me before entering and after leaving.
I read it twice.
Then another email arrived.
This one came from an address I recognized immediately.
Mark.
The subject line said:
Please read this before tomorrow.
May you like
I almost deleted it.
Instead, I opened it.
