Chương 12
The aide changed the pillowcase, tucked the sheet tightly beneath the mattress, and complained under her breath about the hospital's new laundry service shrinking everything.
For five minutes, our catastrophe waited while a woman named Nisha fought with a fitted sheet.
I watched her work.
It was almost restful.
When she finished, she looked at my tray.
"You didn't eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"You want me to find soup?"
"No, thank you."
"Soup isn't good either."
"Excellent sales pitch."
She smiled.
"Honesty is free."
After she left, Mara picked up the untouched yogurt.
"Eat three bites."
"Don't mother me."
"I'm not mothering."
"You're holding yogurt like a threat."
"Three bites."
I took four just to make the decision mine.
At two that afternoon, Ruiz returned.
She carried no notebook this time.
That scared me more.
"Can Mara stay?"
"If you want."
"I want."
Mara dragged her chair closer.
Ruiz sat.
"We identified the person associated with several hotel stays."
My mouth went dry.
"Who?"
"A woman named Celeste Warren."
The name meant nothing.
"Do I know her?"
"We don't think so."
"How does Leo know her?"
"She worked for a company that contracted with his employer last year."
Worked.
Past tense.
Mara noticed too.
"Where does she work now?"
Ruiz looked at me.
"Nowhere locally."
"What does that mean?"
"She moved to Richmond in May."
"Did she admit to sleeping with him?"
Ruiz's mouth tightened.
"She admitted to a relationship."
There it was.
A surprisingly small sentence for something that should have broken furniture.
I looked at my wedding ring.
The hospital had taped it in place when my fingers swelled after the IV.
"How long?"
"She says it began in October."
"Ended when?"
"According to her, early February."
Mara leaned forward.
"Why?"
"She says Leo became controlling."
I almost laughed.
It came out as a breath.
"Controlling."
Ruiz nodded.
"She ended it after an argument."
"What kind of argument?"
"He wanted her to delete messages and stop contacting him during certain hours."
"Because of me."
"Presumably."
"What did she do?"
"She threatened to tell you."
My chest tightened.
"When?"
"Late January."
I stared at Ruiz.
January.
The chemical order.
The prepaid card.
The first symptoms.
"Did she?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Leo told her you were ill."
The room became very still.
Mara stopped moving.
I could hear someone rolling a cart down the hallway.
"What did he say was wrong with me?"
Ruiz looked directly at me.
"He said you had a progressive neurological condition."
My stomach turned.
"He knew."
"We don't know what he knew."
"He told her I had something neurological before I had symptoms bad enough to see a doctor."
Ruiz did not correct me.
"Did he give her a name?"
"Multiple sclerosis."
I closed my eyes.
The phrase sat in the darkness.
I had searched those exact words one night in March after my fingers went numb.
Leo saw the browser tab and told me to stop diagnosing myself.
He said I would make myself sick from fear.
"When did he tell her that?"
"January twenty-fourth."
The day after the prepaid card purchase.
Mara stood.
"No."
Ruiz lifted one hand.
"Mara."
"No, don't calm me down."
"I'm not."
"He bought the thing and the next day told his girlfriend Judith had a neurological disease."
"That timeline is significant."
"Significant?"
"Mara."
I said her name quietly.
She looked at me.
"Sit."
She did.
I turned back to Ruiz.
"Why would he tell her that?"
"Celeste believes he was trying to stop her from contacting you."
"By saying I was sick?"
"She says he told her you were emotionally unstable because of the diagnosis."
I felt something inside me go flat.
Of course.
Even his affair had required a version of me that could not be trusted.
"What else?"
Ruiz hesitated.
"She says he told her you had become paranoid."
I laughed.
It sounded ugly.
"About what?"
"Money."
Mara whispered something under her breath.
"What money?"
"She says Leo told her you had begun accusing him of stealing."
"I hadn't."
"I know."
"I didn't know there was anything missing."
Ruiz nodded.
"That's important."
"He invented the accusation before I could discover the theft."
"That's one interpretation."
"It's the obvious one."
"Often the obvious interpretation is right."
"Finally."
"But we still prove it."
I looked at my ring again.
"Did Celeste know about the chemical?"
"She says no."
"Do you believe her?"
Ruiz paused.
"Her reaction appeared genuine."
"That's detective language for yes."
"It's detective language for her reaction appeared genuine."
"Did she know he was married?"
"Yes."
That hurt more than I expected.
Not because Celeste owed me what Leo did.
She did not.
But there was something humiliating about being discussed by two people who had built intimacy inside the shadow of my ignorance.
"Does she have messages?"
"Some."
"He told me people delete things."
"People do."
"Did she?"
"Not all of them."
Ruiz reached into her jacket and produced a single printed page.
"I can show you one exchange if you want."
Mara looked at me.
I held out my hand.
The page was a screenshot.
Celeste's messages appeared in gray.
Leo's in blue.
Celeste had written, You cannot keep telling me she's too sick to hear the truth.
Leo replied, You don't know what stress does to her.
Then Celeste wrote, I know what YOU do to her.
My eyes stopped there.
"What did she mean?"
Ruiz pointed farther down.
Leo had answered, Don't start psychoanalyzing my marriage because you feel guilty.
Celeste responded, I'm not psychoanalyzing anything.
I saw you switch her drink.
My fingers went numb around the paper.
Mara whispered, "Jesus."
I read the line again.
I saw you switch her drink.
"When?"
Ruiz's voice softened.
"At the hotel bar."
I looked up.
"What?"
"Celeste says she met you once."
"No."
"She says you didn't know who she was."
I searched my memory.
Hotel bar.
Airport hotel.
We had only stayed there once together.
Then I remembered another night.
May you like
December.
Leo's company holiday party had been held in a conference center near the airport.
