Chương 4
Because even now he was weighing rooms, appearances, consequences.
Elaine spoke first.
“This has become absurd.”
Judith set down her wine.
“It became absurd when you printed place cards.”
My head turned.
Elaine’s face went completely still.
“What?”
Judith looked at me.
“I’m sorry.”
Elaine said sharply, “Judith.”
“No.”
Judith reached for the folded card beside the empty seat next to Evan.
She picked it up and held it between two fingers.
I could see the handwriting from where I stood.
Marissa.
Not handwritten by the hotel.
Written by Elaine.
My chair had not been reassigned in panic.
She had planned it.
Something colder than anger settled through me.
“When did you make that?”
Elaine’s fingers tightened around her napkin.
“It was a contingency.”
“A contingency for what?”
“For avoiding chaos.”
Judith gave a disbelieving snort.
Elaine ignored her.
“Evan called me this morning.”
I looked at him.
He looked at the carpet.
“This morning?”
Elaine answered for him.
“He said he intended to tell you before dinner.”
“What time?”
“Does that matter?”
“Yes.”
Her mouth pressed thin.
“Around nine.”
At nine that morning, Evan had been standing in our kitchen in gray sweatpants, drinking coffee from the chipped Red Sox mug my father gave him our first Christmas after the wedding.
At 9:18, he had kissed me goodbye.
I knew the time because I had checked the microwave clock and told him he would be late for a site meeting.
He had smiled.
“You worry enough for both of us.”
I had handed him his keys.
Now I understood that less than twenty minutes earlier, he had called his mother to arrange where his mistress would sit.
The room blurred slightly at the edges.
Corinne touched my elbow.
I pulled away too quickly.
She nodded and stepped back.
“I’m sorry.”
“No.”
I swallowed.
“Don’t apologize for touching me.”
It sounded strange even to me.
Corinne gave a tiny nod.
Elaine said, “He was terrified.”
I stared at her.
“That’s your defense?”
“It isn’t a defense.”
“It sounds like one.”
“He didn’t know how to tell you.”
“So you invited her here?”
“I thought once everyone was together, there would be less opportunity for anyone to behave recklessly.”
Judith laughed again.
Elaine turned on her.
“If you have something useful to contribute, by all means.”
“I told you not to do this.”
“And yet you came.”
That landed.
Judith looked down at her glass.
Elaine had found the weak point.
Everyone at that table had one.
Mine had been loyalty.
Judith’s, apparently, was cowardice dressed as disapproval.
Matthew finally stood.
“Mom, maybe we should stop.”
“No one asked you.”
“I know.”
He looked at me.
His face was red.
“I knew.”
The words came out fast.
“I found out two weeks ago.”
Corinne stared at him.
“What?”
Matthew flinched.
“I was going to tell you.”
“You knew?”
“I was trying to get Evan to fix it.”
Corinne took a step backward.
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You said he was having business problems.”
“He is.”
“That is not the same sentence.”
Matthew rubbed both hands over his face.
The family was coming apart by category now.
Brother.
Wife.
Mother.
Aunt.
Each person discovering the specific version of betrayal assigned to them.
Evan snapped, “Can everybody stop making this about themselves?”
That finally made Matthew look at him.
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m handling it.”
“No, you’re standing here.”
“I said I’m handling it.”
“How?”
Matthew pointed toward the doors.
“Your pregnant girlfriend just walked out, your wife is leaving, Mom has turned her birthday into some kind of hostage negotiation, and you’re worried about the hotel bill.”
Elaine’s face reddened.
“Enough.”
Evan stepped toward his brother.
“Don’t.”
Matthew laughed without humor.
“What are you going to do?”
I had seen the brothers argue before.
Never physically.
Evan was better with words when he had leverage.
Matthew was better once he stopped caring what their mother thought.
“Both of you,” Corinne said.
Neither listened.
I picked up my purse.
This time no one stopped me until I reached the door.
“Natalie.”
Elaine’s voice had changed.
Softer.
That softness had worked on me before too.
I turned.
She stood alone at the center of the long table beneath the warm chandeliers, surrounded by the flowers I had chosen and the family photographs I had assembled.
For the first time that evening, she looked her age.
Not old.
Just tired.
“Please don’t leave like this.”
I almost asked how she preferred I leave.
Quietly, perhaps.
Graciously.
With the cake knife wrapped in a napkin for later.
Instead I said, “Who is paying for dinner?”
Her face tightened.
“This is hardly the moment.”
“It became the moment when you tried to give away my chair.”
Evan said, “I’ll cover it.”
I looked at him.
“With what?”
His expression told me before his mouth did.
There was no money.
Not enough, anyway.
That was why he had followed me into the corridor.
That was why fear had replaced anger.
The dinner bill was not merely inconvenient.
Something larger was wrong.
I looked at him carefully.
“How bad is the firm?”
He went still.
Matthew looked away.
And there it was.
Another room inside the room.
Another secret everyone had been standing around while I arranged the flowers.
Another secret everyone had been standing around while I arranged the flowers.
Evan’s mouth tightened before he said, “It’s temporary.”
Matthew let out a sound that was almost a laugh.
I looked at him.
“How temporary?”
He glanced at Evan.
Evan said, “Don’t.”
Matthew’s shoulders dropped.
That told me enough to keep asking.
“How much?”
Elaine pushed her chair back.
“This is not the place.”
I turned toward her.
“Apparently this is the place for everything.”
“Natalie.”
“No.”
The word came out sharper than I intended.
Elaine stopped.
I looked at Matthew again.
“How much does the firm owe?”
He rubbed the back of his neck.
May you like
“I don’t know the exact number.”
Evan stepped between us.
