Chương 6
He did not defend himself.
He did not tell me to calm down.
He just let me be furious for a second.
Then he said, “There’s something else.”
I dropped my hands.
“Of course there is.”
“Taylor left the house before officers finished.”
“What?”
“She said she needed air.”
“You told her to stay.”
“We asked her to remain voluntarily.”
“So you couldn’t stop her.”
“Not at that point.”
“Where did she go?”
“We don’t know.”
The phrase hit me differently this time.
“Did she take anything?”
“We’re checking.”
I pulled out my phone and called her.
Straight to voicemail.
I called again.
Same result.
Dana said, “Don’t keep calling.”
“That’s my daughter’s mother.”
“And right now, repeated calls can complicate things.”
“I’m trying to find out where she is.”
“So are the police.”
I almost told her what I thought of that.
Then the hospital doors opened and a nurse called my name.
Lily was awake when I returned to her room.
She had eaten half a cup of vanilla pudding and arranged the foil lid into a tiny silver boat.
Her color had improved.
The sight of that pudding cup nearly broke me.
“Can we go home?”
“Soon.”
“Your home?”
“Yes.”
She nodded like she had been hoping for that answer without wanting to ask.
I sat beside her.
She looked at my jacket.
“You have Mia’s sock?”
“The police have it.”
Her face changed.
“Why?”
“Because they’re trying to understand what happened.”
“Is Mia in trouble?”
“No.”
“Am I?”
“No.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because you keep asking.”
She thought about it.
“That’s fair.”
The doctor came in a few minutes later and explained that Lily’s temperature was stable.
They wanted to monitor her a little longer because of the length of exposure, but there were no immediate signs of serious cold injury.
I listened closely without asking him to promise things medicine could not promise.
That was another habit from my marriage.
Taylor always wanted certainty.
I usually wanted someone to admit uncertainty honestly.
Lily complained about the sticky residue from the monitor pads.
The nurse gave her an alcohol wipe.
She cleaned one arm and then sniffed it.
“That smells like the school nurse.”
“That is possibly the least flattering thing you could say about a hospital.”
Lily smiled.
Then she looked toward the curtain.
“Is Mom coming?”
“I don’t know.”
That was the first time all night I had given her the truth without trying to soften it.
She lowered her eyes.
“Did she leave?”
“Who told you that?”
“No one.”
“Then why are you asking?”
“Because she does that when people are mad.”
I stayed very still.
“What do you mean?”
Lily picked at the edge of the blanket.
“She drives.”
“When?”
“Sometimes.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“Does she leave you alone?”
“No.”
The answer came too quickly.
I remembered Dana’s warning.
I stopped.
Lily watched me.
“You’re doing the question face.”
“I’m trying not to.”
“You do it with your forehead.”
“Apparently my face has always been terrible at privacy.”
She gave a tiny laugh.
Then the curtain opened again.
Taylor stood there.
For one heartbeat, relief passed through me.
Then I saw Martinez behind her.
Taylor’s eyes were swollen.
Her hair had come loose from the knot she wore to the pharmacy.
She looked at Lily.
“Baby.”
Lily did not move.
Taylor took one step closer.
Martinez said, “Taylor.”
She stopped.
“What?”
“You need to stay near the doorway for now.”
She looked humiliated.
That feeling crossed her face before anger did.
“I’m her mother.”
“I know.”
“She’s sick.”
“She’s stable.”
“I should be able to sit with my child.”
Dana entered behind him.
“Not until we finish a few things.”
Taylor looked at me.
“You did this.”
I stood.
“No.”
“You called everyone.”
“I called 911 because Lily was inside a freezer.”
“You always make everything bigger.”
The sentence was so familiar that my body reacted before my mind did.
My shoulders tightened.
My jaw locked.
For years, that phrase had ended arguments.
I was too emotional.
Too suspicious.
Too dramatic.
Too willing to see danger where Taylor saw inconvenience.
This time Lily was sitting in a hospital bed with adhesive marks on her chest.
“Not this.”
Taylor blinked.
“What?”
“You don’t get to make this about my reaction.”
Her mouth trembled.
“I’m trying to understand what happened.”
“Then tell the truth.”
“I have.”
Martinez stepped between us slightly.
“We need everyone calm.”
Taylor turned on him.
“I am calm.”
She was not.
Her voice had risen enough that Lily flinched.
Taylor saw it.
That broke something in her expression.
She lowered her voice.
“Sorry.”
Lily looked at her blanket.
Taylor pressed one hand over her stomach.
“Can I talk to her?”
Dana said, “Briefly, with us present.”
Taylor nodded.
She approached the bed carefully, like Lily was an injured animal that might bolt.
“Hey, bug.”
Lily’s eyes filled.
Taylor reached for her hand.
Lily pulled it away.
Taylor froze.
“I’m not mad.”
“I know.”
“Are you scared of me?”
Lily shook her head.
Taylor exhaled.
Then Lily said, “I’m scared you’ll make me go back.”
Taylor went pale.
“No.”
“You said Grandma was sorry last time.”
Taylor looked at me.
I did nothing.
She looked at Dana.
Dana did nothing.
There was nowhere for her to move except forward.
“I was wrong.”
Lily stared at her.
Taylor swallowed.
“I thought she understood.”
“She said she did.”
Taylor’s voice cracked.
“I believed her.”
“Why?”
It was the most brutal question in the room because Lily asked it without accusation.
Taylor sat slowly in the visitor chair.
“I don’t know.”
Lily wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
“You always believe Grandma.”
Taylor looked down.
Nobody rescued her.
After a long silence, Martinez said, “Taylor, we need to ask you about tonight.”
She wiped both cheeks.
“I already told you.”
“We reviewed the pharmacy transaction.”
Her head lifted.
May you like
“What about it?”
“You made the purchase at the West Colfax location at 9:31.”
