Chương 9
Instead Michelle let Evelyn take the girl.
I watched them separate the babies and begin rocking them in opposite corners of the room.
It was the first coordinated thing anyone had done all afternoon.
Priya handed me the page.
“Read the service description.”
I did.
Cryogenic specimen preparation.
Genetic material release.
Lab transfer.
The words blurred.
I read them again.
“Was this Andrew’s sample?”
Daniel said, “The account number appears to match.”
I looked at Christopher.
His face told me nothing now.
He had shut himself down.
That was worse than anger.
“Why would Andrew’s sperm be sent to our clinic?”
Nobody answered.
I tried to think through the timeline.
Six weeks after Richard’s death.
Christopher and I had just begun another treatment cycle.
Our doctor had recommended a different protocol after repeated failed attempts.
Christopher had been unusually involved during that cycle.
He drove me to every appointment.
He sat through consultations.
He asked questions.
At the time, I had mistaken his interest for hope.
A memory surfaced with humiliating clarity.
One morning in the clinic parking garage, Christopher had insisted on going upstairs alone to deal with an insurance problem because I was nauseated from medication.
He was gone forty minutes.
When he came back, he was angry and would not explain why.
I had assumed billing.
“Did you go into the embryology lab that day?”
Christopher frowned.
“What day?”
“The day you told me insurance messed up our authorization.”
“That was years ago.”
“You remember.”
“I remember a lot of appointments.”
“You were gone forty minutes.”
He stared at me.
“Victoria, I did not switch sperm samples if that’s what you’re imagining.”
The words were too specific.
Priya heard it too.
“So that was a possibility you had already considered?”
Christopher’s head snapped toward her.
“No.”
“You phrased the denial before Victoria made the accusation.”
He swore under his breath.
Michelle had gone very still.
“What did Richard ask you to do?”
Christopher looked at her.
“Nothing.”
“That isn’t true.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know how he talked about Andrew.”
Her voice trembled.
“He thought that sample was some kind of legacy.”
Evelyn closed her eyes.
Michelle continued.
“He said it was wrong for Andrew’s line to end because of bad luck.”
Christopher’s face changed.
I saw it happen.
Not guilt exactly.
Recognition.
Evelyn saw it too.
“Richard said that to you.”
Christopher did not answer.
His mother moved closer.
“He said that exact thing.”
“No.”
“Christopher.”
“He talked about Andrew all the time.”
“Not that sentence.”
The room seemed to contract around him.
He rubbed one hand over his mouth.
Then he sat down.
“Dad was dying.”
No one spoke.
“He knew it.”
Evelyn whispered, “We all knew.”
“He was obsessed with things continuing.”
Christopher stared at the floor.
“Vextor.”
“The house.”
“The family name.”
“Andrew.”
His voice broke slightly.
“He kept saying everything had been reduced to me.”
Evelyn looked stricken.
“I didn’t know he said that.”
“He said it constantly.”
I watched Christopher’s shoulders sag.
For the first time all day, he looked less like the man who had humiliated me and more like the person I had once found asleep at his desk after his father’s first cardiac hospitalization.
“He hated that we couldn’t have children.”
The sentence landed slowly.
I felt my stomach turn.
I said, “He hated that I couldn’t.”
Christopher looked up.
“No.”
The answer was immediate.
“He blamed me?”
“No.”
“Then who?”
“Me.”
Silence followed.
He laughed once, bitterly.
“You always assumed he blamed you because that’s how he made you feel.”
I stared at him.
“He told me a woman could have everything and still miss the one thing that mattered.”
Christopher winced.
“I know.”
“You were there.”
“I know.”
“And you said nothing.”
“I know.”
My hands began to shake.
“That’s not the same as him blaming you.”
“No.”
“It’s worse.”
He closed his eyes.
I turned away before I said something I could not take back.
Priya stepped beside me but did not touch me.
Christopher spoke behind us.
“My count dropped.”
I looked over my shoulder.
He kept his eyes on the carpet.
“What?”
“After the first year of testing.”
I felt something cold settle under my ribs.
“Our doctors said everything was normal.”
“At first.”
“You told me that.”
“It was true then.”
“What changed?”
He rubbed his hands together.
“I started testosterone.”
I stared at him.
Daniel frowned.
“For what?”
“Training.”
Evelyn said, “Training for what?”
Christopher almost smiled.
“Nothing that important.”
He looked at me.
“I was tired all the time.”
“You never told me.”
“I thought it would help.”
“And it affected fertility.”
He nodded.
My mouth went dry.
“Did the doctors know?”
“Eventually.”
“Did I?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I stopped taking it.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“I thought things would recover.”
“Did they?”
“Not enough.”
Michelle sat down slowly.
Evelyn whispered, “Christopher.”
He ignored her.
“Dad found out.”
“How?”
“He came to one appointment with me.”
“You told me you were at Vextor that morning.”
“I lied.”
The word entered the room plainly.
No defense.
No excuse attached.
I almost preferred his anger.
“What did Richard do?”
“He lost his mind.”
Christopher laughed under his breath.
“Said I was throwing away the only thing he cared about.”
Evelyn turned pale.
“That sounds like him.”
“He knew about Andrew’s stored samples.”
Michelle whispered, “So he suggested using them.”
Christopher looked at her.
“Yes.”
I could hear my heartbeat.
“For me?”
“For us.”
The correction was unbearable.
“You considered using your dead brother’s sperm without telling me.”
“I said no.”
“At first?”
He looked away.
My vision narrowed.
“At first?”
“He kept pushing.”
“What did you do?”
Christopher stood again, suddenly restless.
“I signed paperwork.”
The room went silent.
“What paperwork?”
“Permission for the sample to be transferred.”
Evelyn made a small sound.
Michelle stared at him.
I could barely speak.
“To our clinic.”
He nodded once.
I felt the floor tilt.
“Why?”
May you like
“Because Dad said we could decide later.”
“You transferred it first and planned to decide later?”
