Chương 12
His voice remained level.
“She went back because she thought uncertainty meant nobody believed her.”
The room became quieter.
“What happened?”
I asked.
His gaze shifted toward the windows.
“She died six weeks later.”
I stopped breathing.
He did not offer the details.
For once, I did not need them.
“That’s why you stopped under the overpass.”
“Yes.”
Not destiny.
Not instinct.
A scar.
A choice made twenty-two years after somebody else failed to get another one.
I looked down at Lily.
Then at Grace.
Daniel had spent years teaching me that power belonged to whoever controlled the room.
Elias had more power than anyone I had ever met.
Officer Reyes had authority.
Naomi had knowledge.
Marcus had resources.
But none of them could give the next answer for me.
“I’m not going back.”
My voice shook.
I said it again anyway.
“I’m not going back to him.”
Naomi nodded once.
Reyes did too.
Elias said nothing.
That was why I believed he had heard me.
Naomi broke the silence first.
“Then we build everything around that decision.”
I looked at the tablet.
“What does that mean?”
“It means no secret meetings, no going back for belongings alone, no answering Daniel because you feel guilty, and no agreeing to anything just to make him calm down.”
I almost said I would never do that.
The lie formed automatically.
Then I stopped.
“I might.”
Naomi nodded.
“Exactly.”
Officer Reyes leaned back in her chair.
“That’s the most realistic thing anyone has said in here today.”
Marcus looked offended.
“I’ve been realistic.”
“You suggested we subpoena a security vendor before we had a case number.”
“That was efficient.”
“That was caffeine wearing a suit.”
Elias looked at him.
“She’s not wrong.”
Marcus folded his arms.
I laughed before I could stop myself.
The babies remained asleep.
For a few seconds, nobody seemed to know what to do with the fact that I was laughing in the middle of everything.
Then Naomi returned to business.
“I need to prepare you for the custody hearing.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow morning, unless the court changes it.”
My stomach tightened.
“That fast?”
“Emergency petitions move fast.”
“Do I have to go there?”
“Probably by video because of your medical condition.”
“That sounds worse.”
“It might be.”
She adjusted her glasses.
“Video makes people forget they’re in court.”
“I won’t.”
“You might.”
Her tone remained dry.
“People interrupt from video, look at the wrong screen, panic when there’s a delay, talk over the judge, or answer questions nobody asked.”
I stared at her.
“That sounds like me.”
“Then we practice.”
Reyes stood.
“I need to get back.”
I looked at her.
“Will Peter be charged?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Owen?”
“We’re looking for him.”
“Daniel?”
“He has counsel.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
Reyes gave me the same careful look she had used before.
“I know.”
I hated the answer.
But I was beginning to understand that adults who promised certainty too quickly usually wanted something from me.
She picked up her coat.
“I’ll call if anything changes.”
At the doorway, she stopped.
“And Ava.”
“Yes?”
“If Daniel calls, do not answer just because you think hearing his voice will tell you what he’s planning.”
My skin prickled.
“How did you know I would think that?”
“Because everyone thinks they can outsmart a person who has spent years learning exactly which buttons to press.”
She left before I could respond.
I spent the evening practicing with Naomi.
She asked questions in Daniel’s voice without imitating him.
Why did I leave the apartment without proper clothing?
Why did I refuse medical help?
Why did I attack Owen?
Why was I staying with a man I barely knew?
Why had I not reported previous assaults?
Each question felt designed to turn my life inside out.
At first I answered too much.
“I left because Owen pulled me down the stairs and Daniel told him to put me out and Peter was there and his mother—”
Naomi lifted a hand.
“Stop.”
I stopped.
“You were asked why you left.”
“I just told you.”
“You gave me four other facts nobody asked for.”
“I thought more detail was better.”
“Not when you bury the answer.”
She leaned toward the screen.
“Again.”
I swallowed.
“Because Daniel ordered Owen to remove me from the apartment.”
“Better.”
She continued.
“Why didn’t you go to a hospital?”
“I tried.”
“Too vague.”
“I asked Marianne to call an ambulance after the birth.”
“And?”
“Daniel stopped her.”
Naomi nodded.
“Good.”
Then came the question I feared most.
“Why are you living with Elias Vance?”
I glanced toward the open bedroom door.
He was nowhere nearby.
“Because he found us.”
“That explains how you met.”
I knew.
I hated that she knew I knew.
“Because I don’t have anywhere else safe.”
“Better.”
“Because Daniel controls my apartment.”
“Also relevant.”
“And because Elias said I could stay.”
Naomi studied me.
“That one is obvious.”
Heat rose in my face.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“That wasn’t nothing.”
“You are allowed to like somebody helping you.”
“I don’t.”
She lifted an eyebrow.
“I didn’t say you did.”
I looked away.
The city lights had come on beyond the windows.
“I don’t know him.”
“Good.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means continue remembering that.”
Her answer irritated me because it was sensible.
Around nine, the nurse forced me to stop.
My entire body ached.
The twins had entered a rhythm of feeding, sleeping, crying, and producing diapers at a rate that seemed mathematically impossible.
Marcus had gone downstairs.
Elias was somewhere working.
I sat in bed with Grace against my chest and tried to stay awake.
A soft knock came at the door.
Elias entered holding a paper bag.
“What is that?”
“Dinner.”
“I already ate.”
“You moved mashed potatoes around a plate.”
“I ate some.”
“Three bites.”
“Were you counting?”
“Yes.”
“That’s strange.”
“I’m comfortable with that.”
He set the bag on the table.
The smell reached me.
Chicken soup.
Bread.
May you like
Something with garlic.
My stomach betrayed me immediately.
