Chương 2
“You could come out after dessert,” she said.
It was apparently meant as generosity.
“Could I?”
“If you’re going to have an attitude, forget it.”
“I don’t have an attitude.”
“You’ve had one since you arrived.”
I put down the whisk.
“What exactly did I do?”
She shut the refrigerator harder than necessary.
“This.”
“What?”
“This face.”
I touched my cheek.
That irritated her more.
“Your sister came here wanting one peaceful holiday.”
“I haven’t spoken to Vanessa for more than thirty seconds.”
“Exactly.”
I looked at her.
For once, Diane seemed to hear herself.
Her mouth tightened.
She picked up the cranberry sauce.
“Just try to be pleasant.”
The door swung closed behind her.
I stood there until the gravy formed a skin.
Then I stirred it again.
At six twelve, my phone vibrated beside the sink.
Alexander had sent three messages.
The first said his meeting had run late.
The second said the rain had turned the West Side Highway into a parking lot.
The third contained only two words.
Still alive?
I typed, Barely.
Three dots appeared immediately.
Need extraction?
I looked through the doorway.
My father was standing to make a toast.
“To family,” he said, lifting his glass.
Everyone lifted theirs.
I was holding a dish towel.
Something ugly rose in me.
Not sadness exactly.
I was tired of giving sadness that much credit.
I typed, Actually, yes.
Alexander called.
I declined it.
Can’t talk, I wrote.
He replied, Address.
My thumb hovered over the screen.
He knew my parents lived in Westchester, but I had never given him the exact house number.
For eleven months, I had kept two parts of my life carefully separated and called it peace.
Then Vanessa appeared in the doorway.
“Mom says we need more gravy.”
“There’s an entire boat on the table.”
“Logan basically drank it.”
“That sounds like Logan.”
She leaned against the frame.
Her cream cashmere dress probably cost more than my first car.
“You okay?”
The question surprised me enough that I answered honestly.
“No.”
Vanessa glanced toward the dining room.
“Mom’s being Mom.”
“That phrase has excused a lot.”
Her expression changed.
“Why are you starting something tonight?”
“I’m in the kitchen, Vanessa.”
“You know what I mean.”
I did.
Starting something in our family meant refusing to absorb it quietly.
“I’m not starting anything.”
“Dad is under a ridiculous amount of pressure.”
“So I’m not allowed to eat?”
“Oh, come on.”
She rubbed her forehead.
“Nobody said you’re not allowed to eat.”
“Mom literally removed my chair.”
“That’s because Uncle Peter brought Michelle.”
“Then Uncle Peter and Michelle can share a chair.”
Vanessa laughed once before catching herself.
I laughed too.
It was stupid, and for three seconds we were sisters again.
Then she noticed the chain around my neck.
“What’s that?”
My hand moved too late.
Vanessa stepped closer.
“Is that a ring?”
“No.”
“That is absolutely a ring.”
“Vanessa.”
Her eyes widened.
“Oh my God.”
“Keep your voice down.”
“You’re engaged?”
I heard a chair scrape in the dining room.
I grabbed her wrist.
“Not now.”
“To who?”
“Someone.”
“That narrows it down.”
“I was going to tell everyone.”
“When?”
“Not while I’m holding gravy.”
She stared at me with genuine hurt, which I had not expected.
“You didn’t tell me.”
“You don’t tell me things either.”
“I tell you things.”
“You sent me a birth announcement for Sophie.”
“I had just delivered a human being.”
“You posted it online first.”
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
The old refrigerator motor clicked on between us.
“Okay,” she said.
“That was shitty.”
I blinked.
Vanessa rarely surrendered ground without negotiating a treaty.
She touched the chain lightly.
“Is he good to you?”
“Yes.”
“Does Mom know him?”
“No.”
“Dad?”
“No.”
“Logan?”
I gave her a look.
“Fair.”
My phone vibrated again.
Alexander had sent, Emma?
I typed the address.
Then I added, Please don’t make this weird.
His reply came almost immediately.
Define weird.
Despite everything, I smiled.
Vanessa saw it.
“Oh, you’re screwed.”
“Go away.”
“You like him.”
“I’m marrying him.”
“People marry people they hate all the time.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with Mom.”
That wiped away her smile.
From the dining room, Diane called, “Vanessa, sweetheart, come sit down.”
Then, after a pause, “Emma, we need the gravy.”
Vanessa looked at me.
“I’ll take it.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because then she’ll be angry at both of us.”
“Maybe she should be.”
I handed her the gravy boat.
She carried it out.
My mother stopped talking.
I could not hear what Vanessa said next, but Logan laughed, then abruptly stopped.
I washed the roasting pan because I did not know what else to do with my hands.
At six forty-eight, the doorbell rang.
Nobody moved at first.
My aunt Claire finally said, “Is somebody expecting anyone?”
My father muttered something about Peter’s girlfriend’s son.
Footsteps crossed the foyer.
A moment later, the housekeeper my mother hired only for holidays appeared at the dining-room entrance.
“There’s a gentleman here for Emma.”
My mother answered before I could.
“For Emma?”
Then Alexander Hayes walked into the room wearing a black suit beneath a rain-darkened overcoat.
He looked mildly annoyed, slightly wet, and entirely out of place among the ceramic pumpkins my mother had arranged on every available surface.
My father rose so quickly his chair struck the wall.
Alexander did not look at him.
His eyes found me beside the kitchen sink.
Something in his face softened.
He crossed the dining room while twenty-three people watched him.
I became acutely aware of the apron around my waist and a streak of flour near my elbow.
“You came,” I said.
“You gave me an address.”
“That wasn’t technically an invitation.”
“I took a liberal interpretation.”
He reached for my hand.
It was wet and smelled like dish soap.
I tried to pull it back.
He held on anyway, bent, and kissed my knuckles.
May you like
“Sorry, darling,” he said quietly.
“I was late.”
