Chương 12
He nodded toward the envelope in my hands.
"Money for Maren."
"Why hide it?"
"Because he didn't want Mom to know how much."
"She just said she knew about the townhouse."
"Eventually she did."
"Then what were you hiding?"
His jaw tightened.
"The rest."
"What rest?"
"Charles wasn't just supporting Maren."
"He was diverting family money to her."
Rebecca shook her head.
"How much?"
"Millions."
"You're saying Dad stole from his own companies?"
"I'm saying he treated the companies like they were his wallet."
Rebecca looked nauseated.
"Why would you keep that quiet?"
Julian gave her a tired smile.
"Because he paid me."
The bluntness was almost worse than denial.
I looked down at the envelope.
"Through Mercer."
"Yes."
"How much?"
"Enough."
"That's not a number."
"About nine hundred thousand over several years."
Rebecca whispered, "Jesus."
"And after he died?"
Julian looked at me.
"Mercer still had obligations."
"To Maren."
"Yes."
"And you controlled it?"
"Temporarily."
"For seven years?"
His eyes hardened.
"It became complicated."
I almost laughed.
Of course it did.
"Where do our children's education funds fit into this?"
Julian's mouth tightened.
"They shouldn't have."
"But they did."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because Mercer ran short."
Rebecca stared at him.
"So you stole from Lily and Leo to keep paying Dad's secret daughter."
"I borrowed from accounts I intended to replenish."
"You submitted fake tuition requests."
"I had no other liquid source."
"You have a job."
"This wasn't ten thousand dollars."
"Then stop paying."
"I couldn't."
"Why?"
Julian's voice rose.
"Because Maren knew everything."
The porch light carved deep shadows under his eyes.
"Everything about Charles."
"Everything about Mercer."
"Everything about what I had done."
"And she threatened you?"
"Not exactly."
"What does not exactly mean?"
"It means she wanted what Charles promised her."
"And if you didn't pay?"
"She would go to Eleanor."
"Why were you afraid of Eleanor knowing?"
"Because Mom would audit everything."
Rebecca's face twisted.
"And she'd find the money you took."
"Eventually."
There it was.
Not sacrifice.
Not loyalty.
Self-preservation.
The complicated story reduced to something painfully ordinary.
Julian had protected Charles's secret because it paid him.
He had protected Maren because exposing her would expose him.
And when the old money became inaccessible, he reached for the nearest accounts he believed he could control.
Our children's.
Mine.
"Why isolate us?"
My voice came out quieter than I expected.
Julian looked at me.
"That has nothing to do with Mercer."
"I don't believe you."
"It's true."
"Then why?"
He looked past me toward the dark interior of the house.
For the first time all night, he seemed ashamed.
"Because Charles liked you."
Rebecca turned toward him.
"What?"
"He respected her."
Julian's mouth twisted.
"More than me."
I said nothing.
"He thought you were practical."
"He once called me provincial."
"That meant he liked you."
Rebecca muttered, "Unfortunately, yes."
Julian continued.
"He started asking you questions at Christmas."
I remembered Charles beside the fireplace, asking about my bookkeeping work for the pediatric clinic.
Asking whether I handled payroll.
Whether I understood audits.
I had thought he was making conversation.
"He told me you were sharper than I was."
Julian laughed quietly.
"That was Charles's version of affection."
"So you kept me away because your father complimented me?"
"No."
His eyes met mine.
"I kept you away because he was going to tell you."
My skin prickled.
"Tell me what?"
"About the accounts."
"Which accounts?"
"The ones he found in your name."
My hand tightened around the envelope.
Rebecca whispered, "Julian."
He did not look at her.
"Charles discovered I'd used your information for Mercer-related holdings before we were married."
"Before?"
"Some were opened during our engagement."
I felt physically cold.
"He was going to tell me."
"Yes."
"So you told him to keep me away?"
Julian shook his head.
"He told me."
"What?"
"He said if I wanted the mess contained, you couldn't be at Hilton Head while he was auditing it."
The handwriting in the notebook returned to me.
Then make sure Sloan stays home.
Charles had not written it to protect me.
He had written it as part of the concealment.
"And afterward?"
I asked.
"After Charles died, why keep doing it?"
Julian's eyes finally dropped.
That answer hurt before he spoke.
"Because it worked."
No justification followed.
No complicated structure.
No family history.
Just that.
He had discovered a method.
My absence kept questions away.
His mother's guilt made her easier to manage.
My resentment made me easier to isolate.
Our children became collateral because allowing them relationships would create communication he could not supervise.
"It worked."
I repeated.
Julian looked miserable.
I was glad.
Then I hated myself for being glad.
Rebecca said, "You let Mom think Sloan hated her."
"Yes."
"You let Sloan think Mom hated her."
"Yes."
"You did that for eleven years."
Julian looked at her.
"You don't get to judge me like you weren't happy to believe it."
Rebecca recoiled.
He had found the exact knife.
"I wasn't happy."
"You were relieved."
She opened her mouth.
Nothing came out.
Julian turned to me.
"All of you were relieved."
His voice was quiet now.
"Mom didn't have to admit what Charles did."
"Rebecca didn't have to confront anybody."
"Grant didn't have to choose sides."
"And you didn't have to deal with my family."
The cruelty of it was that part of it was true.
I had accepted the distance because fighting it exhausted me.
But Julian mistook my exhaustion for consent.
"You built the problem that made us relieved to avoid each other."
I said it without raising my voice.
He looked at me.
"You poisoned every relationship and then pointed at the sickness as proof."
Julian's face tightened.
"I never wanted it to go this far."
"How far did you want it to go?"
He had no answer.
I looked at the envelope in my hands.
"Are these copies complete?"
"Yes."
"Are there originals somewhere?"
"Some."
"Where?"
"Maren has them."
May you like
Rebecca stepped forward.
"Does she know you're here?"
