Chương 2
That hurt worse than anything Darren had said.
“Hey, buddy.”
My voice came out rough.
Jacob blinked.
“Dad.”
I sat beside him.
Very carefully, I placed my hand near his shoulder without touching.
“Can I ask you something?”
He stared at the blanket.
The room was quiet except for the machine monitoring his heartbeat.
“Did you fall?”
His fingers moved slightly under the blanket.
A tiny movement.
But I saw it.
“No.”
The word was barely there.
I leaned forward.
“What happened?”
Jacob swallowed.
For a long time, he said nothing.
Then he whispered.
“Mom said I shouldn’t make you angry.”
I felt something inside me go still.
“What does that mean?”
He looked toward the door.
Not toward me.
Toward the door.
“Jacob.”
“He said you were going to take me away.”
My hands tightened against my knees.
“Who said that?”
He didn’t answer.
He didn’t need to.
I already knew.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Am I in trouble?”
The question broke something in me.
“No.”
I looked at my son’s frightened face.
“No, Jacob.”
His eyes filled.
“I tried not to cry.”
I closed my eyes for one second.
Only one.
Because if I let myself stay there, I wasn’t sure I would come back the same.
“You don’t have to be brave with me.”
He looked confused.
“Why?”
“Because I’m your dad.”
A tear moved down his cheek.
“I thought you’d be mad.”
“At you?”
He nodded.
I shook my head slowly.
“Never.”
The door opened behind me.
Josie stood there.
Her hair was wet from the rain.
Her face looked older than it had a week before.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then she looked at Jacob.
Then at me.
And whatever she had planned to say disappeared.
“Nate…”
I stood.
“What happened?”
Her eyes moved toward the floor.
That was the first answer she gave me.
Not with words.
With silence.
And silence had always been where the truth hid.
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Her eyes moved toward the floor.
That was the first answer she gave me.
Not with words.
With silence.
And silence had always been where the truth hid.
“Josie,” I said.
She closed the door behind her.
For a few seconds, she just stood there with her hands wrapped around the strap of her purse.
I had seen her nervous before.
I had seen her nervous during our divorce hearing when the judge asked questions neither of us wanted to answer.
I had seen her nervous the night she told me she was leaving.
This was different.
This was fear.
“What did he tell you?” she asked.
I looked at her.
“What?”
“Darren.”
The way she said his name made my chest tighten.
Not because she was afraid of him.
Because she was afraid of what she was about to admit.
“He told me Jacob fell.”
Josie swallowed.
“He told me that too.”
I waited.
A person can learn a lot by letting silence sit between two people.
Most people rush to fill it.
They explain.
They defend.
They reveal things they never intended to reveal.
Josie looked at Jacob.
Her son.
Our son.
Then she looked away.
“Nate, I…”
She stopped.
Jacob shifted slightly on the bed.
His eyes moved between us.
I lowered my voice.
“Not here.”
Josie nodded quickly.
That was another answer.
She knew there was something we couldn’t say in front of him.
I stepped into the hallway.
She followed.
The door clicked shut behind us.
“What happened?” I asked.
Her arms crossed over her chest.
A defensive position.
A habit I knew too well.
“I don’t know.”
I stared at her.
“Josie.”
“I don’t know everything.”
The sentence bothered me more than if she had screamed.
Because it sounded like something someone said after realizing the truth was bigger than they wanted it to be.
“How long?”
Her face changed.
“How long what?”
“How long has something been wrong?”
She looked toward the floor.
“I don’t know.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because I don’t.”
Her voice rose slightly.
Then she caught herself.
A doctor walked by carrying a tablet.
We both waited until he passed.
“I knew he was strict,” she whispered.
“Strict?”
She rubbed her forehead.
“I thought he was just old-fashioned.”
I felt my jaw tighten.
“Old-fashioned men don’t break children’s arms.”
She flinched.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Her eyes became wet.
“You think I don’t know what this looks like?”
I didn’t answer.
Because part of me did think that.
And I hated myself for it.
Josie had made mistakes.
I had made mistakes.
Our marriage had ended because two people who loved each other slowly became two people who couldn’t stand being around each other.
But she was still Jacob’s mother.
And she looked like someone who had just discovered she had failed at the one thing she was supposed to protect.
“I should have noticed,” she said.
The anger in me had nowhere clean to go.
It wanted Darren.
It wanted answers.
It wanted someone to blame.
But standing there, watching the woman I once promised forever struggle to breathe, I realized blame was not going to put my son’s arms back together.
“Tell me what you noticed,” I said.
She wiped under one eye.
“He got quieter.”
“When?”
“After the wedding.”
I nodded slowly.
Darren and Josie had married six months after our divorce.
I had told myself I didn’t care.
That was a lie.
I cared.
I just didn’t have the right to say I cared.
“He stopped asking to go places,” she continued.
“He stopped asking me to call you.”
My stomach tightened.
“Why?”
Josie looked at me.
“Because Darren told him you were too busy.”
The hallway seemed to get colder.
“I talked to Jacob every night.”
“I know.”
“Then why would he say that?”
“Because…”
She stopped.
“Because Darren said you only wanted to be the fun parent.”
I laughed once.
May you like
Not because it was funny.
Because sometimes the body makes a sound when the mind doesn’t know what else to do.
