Chương 3
“Where’s Gideon?”
Baldric leaned forward.
“Still at the house.”
Panic moved across her face.
“I need him.”
“We’ll get him.”
“No.”
Her hand closed around his wrist.
Even weak, she held hard.
“You don’t understand.”
Baldric covered her hand with his.
“Then tell me.”
Arianne stared at him for a long time.
When she finally spoke, her voice was almost soundless.
“Derek knows I was leaving.”
Arianne’s fingers tightened around Baldric’s wrist until her nails pressed crescents into his skin.
“He found the apartment application.”
Baldric stayed still.
“What apartment?”
“The one near Gideon’s school.”
Her eyes moved toward the half-open hospital-room door before returning to him.
“I was going to sign the lease Friday.”
A nurse passed outside pushing a cart that squeaked once every few feet.
Baldric waited until the sound faded.
“You were taking Gideon with you?”
“Yes.”
“Did Derek know?”
“Not until tonight.”
Arianne swallowed and looked down at the pulse-oximeter clipped to her finger.
“He went through my email.”
Baldric pulled his chair closer but did not touch her again.
“What happened after he found it?”
“He asked where I thought I was going.”
Her voice had flattened, which scared him more than crying would have.
“I told him I was leaving.”
“And?”
“He laughed.”
Baldric’s jaw tightened.
Arianne noticed.
“Dad, don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Do that thing where you go quiet and decide you’re going to fix everything.”
“I’m sitting in a chair.”
“You know what I mean.”
He did.
He looked at the vinyl floor.
Arianne rubbed her thumb against the edge of the blanket.
“He said Gideon would never leave the house with me.”
“Why?”
“Because according to Derek, I’m unstable.”
The word came out bitterly.
“He’s been building that story for months.”
Baldric raised his eyes.
“How?”
“He tells people I forget things.”
She gave a weak, humorless laugh.
“I do forget things sometimes.”
“Everybody does.”
“Not the way he tells it.”
Arianne shifted and winced.
“He’ll say I missed a parent meeting when he changed the calendar entry.”
“He told Bertha I left the stove on twice.”
“Did you?”
“Once.”
She looked embarrassed.
“I was exhausted, and Gideon had the flu, and I forgot a pot on low.”
“One time.”
“Bertha talks about it like I nearly burned down the house.”
Baldric rubbed his palms together.
Grease no longer lived permanently beneath his nails, despite Bertha’s assumptions, but sometimes he still expected to see it there.
Old habits survived retirement better than friendships.
“Anything else?”
Arianne hesitated.
“He made me see a psychiatrist.”
“Made you?”
“He said if I refused, he’d tell everyone I was refusing treatment.”
Baldric leaned back.
“And what did the psychiatrist say?”
“That I had anxiety.”
“That’s it?”
“She offered medication.”
“Did you take it?”
“For a while.”
Her gaze drifted toward the IV line.
“I stopped because it made me feel foggy.”
Baldric looked toward the door.
“What did Derek give you tonight?”
“I don’t know.”
The answer came too quickly.
He waited.
Arianne’s mouth tightened.
“I think it was one of my old pills.”
“You think?”
“He brought me water.”
She closed her eyes briefly.
“I was already upset.”
“What happened to your wrists?”
Arianne opened her eyes.
For several seconds she said nothing.
Then she lifted both hands slightly from the blanket and stared at the bruises as if they belonged to someone else.
“He took my phone.”
Baldric’s throat went dry.
“I grabbed it back.”
“And he restrained you.”
“He said he was stopping me from hurting myself.”
“Were you trying to hurt yourself?”
“No.”
She looked at him then.
“No.”
Baldric nodded once.
“I believe you.”
Her face crumpled for only a second before she turned toward the window.
It was still dark outside.
A parking-lot light threw a pale rectangle across the glass.
“I should’ve left sooner.”
Baldric looked at the plastic water cup on the tray table.
“So should I.”
Arianne frowned.
“You don’t live there.”
“No.”
He folded his hands.
“But I kept accepting explanations I didn’t believe because believing them was easier.”
“Dad.”
“I told myself you’d tell me when you were ready.”
“I would’ve lied if you pushed.”
“Probably.”
“You did push.”
“Not enough.”
She stared at him.
“You can’t make this about you.”
The words landed cleanly.
Baldric nodded.
“You’re right.”
Arianne looked surprised, almost disappointed that he had not argued.
She turned away again.
After a moment, she said, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m being mean.”
“You’re in a hospital bed because your husband put his hands on you.”
“You don’t know that yet.”
Baldric blinked.
She gave him a miserable look.
“I sound like Bertha.”
“No.”
“I do.”
“You sound scared.”
Arianne pulled the blanket higher.
“That’s worse.”
A knock came at the door.
The deputy with the tired eyes stepped inside.
She introduced herself as Deputy Mara Ellis and asked Baldric if she could speak with Arianne alone.
Baldric stood immediately.
Arianne grabbed his sleeve.
“Stay.”
Ellis looked at her.
“That’s your choice.”
Baldric sat again.
Ellis pulled a chair from the wall and positioned herself beside the bed instead of standing over it.
She asked Arianne what she remembered.
Arianne told the story in pieces.
The apartment.
The email.
Derek taking her phone.
The argument moving upstairs because Gideon had started crying.
Bertha arriving sometime later.
Derek holding Arianne by both wrists when she tried to leave the bathroom.
The water.
The pill.
Ellis interrupted only when details became unclear.
“Who gave you the pill?”
“Derek.”
“Did you know what it was?”
“He said it was mine.”
“Did you agree to take it?”
Arianne looked at Baldric.
He kept his face blank.
“Yes.”
Ellis waited.
Arianne pressed her lips together.
“I mean, he told me I needed to calm down.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
Arianne swallowed.
“I took it.”
“Did you feel free to refuse?”
The room went very quiet.
“No.”
Ellis wrote something down.
“What happened next?”
“I remember feeling dizzy.”
“Anything after that?”
“Bits.”
May you like
Arianne closed her eyes.
“I was on the floor.”
