Chương 12
“Some things have terms,” Laura said.
Evelyn picked up her purse.
“You’re just like your father when you do this.”
Laura almost asked what that meant.
Evelyn walked out.
The meeting felt like a failure for three days.
Then Dr. Bell called.
“Your mother contacted my office.”
Laura sat upright at work.
“She did?”
“She asked what an initial family consultation would involve.”
“Did she schedule?”
“No.”
Laura exhaled.
“Okay.”
“She asked a lot of questions.”
“That sounds like her.”
“She was not pleasant.”
“That also sounds like her.”
Dr. Bell laughed.
“I told her I don’t require pleasantness.”
Two weeks later, Evelyn scheduled.
Laura did not tell Noah immediately.
She waited until after Evelyn had attended two sessions alone with Dr. Bell.
Then Dr. Bell suggested a short meeting with Laura and Evelyn together.
Evelyn complained about the office chairs.
She complained about parking.
She complained that the waiting-room magazines were old.
Laura nearly smiled.
This was not transformation.
This was Evelyn.
Still Evelyn.
But when Dr. Bell asked her what she believed Noah needed from her, Evelyn did not say discipline.
She stared at the floor for a long time.
“Predictability.”
Laura looked at her.
Dr. Bell nodded.
“What would that look like?”
Evelyn sighed.
“It means if he says he doesn’t want to hug me, I don’t make a joke about it.”
“Good.”
“And I don’t comment on food.”
“Good.”
“And if I’m angry at Laura…”
She glanced over.
“I speak to Laura.”
Laura swallowed.
Dr. Bell asked, “What happens if you break one of those agreements?”
Evelyn bristled.
“You make me sound like a parolee.”
“What happens?”
Evelyn looked at Laura.
“Visit ends.”
Laura nodded.
“Yes.”
Evelyn shook her head.
“This is insane.”
Dr. Bell waited.
Evelyn exhaled.
“Fine.”
The first visit happened in November.
Not at Evelyn’s house.
Not at Laura’s apartment.
A public park.
Thirty minutes.
Laura told Noah two days before.
“You do not have to go.”
He looked suspicious.
“Will she be there?”
“Yes.”
“Will you?”
“The whole time.”
“Dr. Bell?”
“No.”
Noah thought.
“Can we leave if she’s mean?”
“Yes.”
“Even if we just got there?”
“Yes.”
“Even if she cries?”
Laura paused.
“Yes.”
He watched her carefully.
Then he nodded.
“Okay.”
Evelyn arrived carrying no gifts.
Laura had specifically requested that.
She wore beige trousers and an ivory blouse beneath a light cardigan.
Her wrist brace was gone.
For a moment nobody knew what to do.
Noah stood beside Laura.
Evelyn stopped six feet away.
“Hi, Noah.”
“Hi.”
“I’m glad to see you.”
He said nothing.
Evelyn swallowed.
Laura could almost see every old instinct fighting inside her mother.
Correct him.
Prompt him.
Demand politeness.
Evelyn did none of them.
They walked toward the playground.
Noah ran ahead.
Evelyn watched him climb a rope ladder.
“He’s gotten taller.”
“Yes.”
“He needs a jacket.”
Laura looked at her.
Evelyn closed her eyes.
“Sorry.”
Laura laughed.
She could not help it.
Evelyn glared.
Then, slowly, she laughed too.
Not because it was funny.
Because it was absurdly difficult for her not to manage another human being’s temperature.
Noah looked over from the playground.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Laura said.
He went back to climbing.
After twenty minutes, Evelyn sat on a bench.
Noah approached for water.
Evelyn said, “I owe you an apology.”
Laura’s heart sped up.
Noah looked at her.
Laura said nothing.
He looked back at Evelyn.
“For the cake?”
“Yes.”
“And outside?”
Evelyn’s face changed.
“Yes.”
Noah unscrewed his water bottle.
“You were mean.”
Evelyn flinched.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Laura held her breath.
Evelyn glanced at her.
Then back at Noah.
“Because I was angry and I thought being mean would make people do what I wanted.”
Noah considered this.
“That’s bad.”
“Yes.”
Dr. Bell had warned Evelyn not to ask for forgiveness.
Laura knew because Dr. Bell had told them both.
Evelyn’s mouth opened.
Closed.
“Do you still hate me?” Noah asked.
Evelyn’s eyes filled.
“No.”
“Mom said you don’t.”
Evelyn looked at Laura.
Laura looked away.
Noah drank his water.
“Okay.”
Then he ran back to the playground.
Evelyn sat perfectly still.
A tear traveled down one cheek.
Laura pretended not to notice.
After a minute, Evelyn said, “He didn’t forgive me.”
“No.”
“He just said okay.”
“Yes.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.”
Evelyn laughed through her nose.
“This is unbearable.”
Laura smiled faintly.
“Yes.”
At thirty minutes, Laura ended the visit.
Evelyn did not argue.
That mattered.
The next visit lasted forty-five.
The one after that ended after twelve because Evelyn commented that Noah was too old to be afraid of a large dog near the path.
Laura stood.
“We’re leaving.”
Evelyn’s face flushed.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know.”
“Laura, come on.”
Noah had already taken her hand.
Evelyn looked at him.
Then she stopped arguing.
“I’m sorry, Noah.”
He said nothing.
They left.
In the car, Noah asked, “Is she bad again?”
Laura started the engine.
“She made a mistake.”
“So she’s not fixed?”
Laura looked at him in the mirror.
“People aren’t toys.”
“You fix toys.”
“I know.”
“They can still get broken again.”
Laura considered this.
“Yes.”
Noah buckled his seat belt.
“Okay.”
Christmas became the next test.
Evelyn wanted the family together.
Laura said no to her house.
Matt proposed his.
Jessica offered hers.
Diane said everyone was being ridiculous.
For two weeks, text messages multiplied.
Laura nearly canceled everything.
Then Matt called.
“What if we do brunch here?”
“With Mom?”
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“Two hours.”
“No alcohol.”
“It’s ten in the morning.”
“You know Uncle Paul.”
“Fair.”
“And if Mom says one thing to Noah—”
“You leave.”
“Immediately.”
“Yes.”
Laura hesitated.
Matt continued, “I’ll back you.”
“You say that now.”
“I know.”
“What if Mom cries?”
“I’ll hand her a tissue.”
“What if Diane tells me I’m ruining Christmas?”
“I’ll hand her two.”
Laura laughed.
“Okay.”
Christmas morning, Noah wore a green sweater he hated because Laura had bought it without asking.
May you like
After eight minutes he said it scratched.
The old Laura might have told him to tolerate it for pictures.
