Chương 5
Not loudly.
Just enough that she had to wipe her face with the back of her hand because the tissues were across the room and she did not feel like standing.
At eleven forty, the deputy drove her to her parents’ house.
She almost refused.
The house she shared with Grant was thirty minutes away. It contained her clothes, her laptop, the good coffee grinder, the ceramic bowl she had made in college, six half-dead herbs on the kitchen windowsill, and the blue blanket she slept under when Grant traveled.
It also contained Grant.
Even if Grant was in jail tonight, he existed in every room.
She could picture the dent in the laundry room door.
The place on the bedroom carpet where he had once thrown her suitcase.
The kitchen drawer that stuck because he had slammed it hard enough to bend the rail.
Her parents’ house did not feel safe.
But it felt less unsafe.
That was apparently the standard now.
Daniel was sitting in the kitchen when she entered.
He had changed out of his field jacket.
His black shirt was wrinkled.
A mug of coffee sat untouched near his hand.
Celeste stood at the island wearing a gray robe over the emerald dress. She still had one green earring in.
Only one.
Evie stared at it.
Celeste followed her gaze and touched her ear.
“Oh.”
She removed the earring and set it beside the sink.
Nobody spoke.
The refrigerator hummed.
Daniel stood.
Evie stopped.
He sat again.
“Sorry,” he said.
The word sounded awkward in his mouth.
“For standing?”
“For deciding what you wanted before you said it.”
Evie put her hospital paperwork on the counter.
Celeste looked at it, then deliberately looked away.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
Evie almost became furious.
Then she realized she was.
“Yes.”
Celeste opened the refrigerator.
“There’s chicken.”
“No.”
“Soup?”
“What kind?”
“Tomato.”
Evie hated tomato soup.
Celeste knew that.
They looked at each other.
Celeste shut the refrigerator.
“I’m not doing very well.”
“No,” Evie said.
Daniel coughed into his fist.
Evie looked at him.
“Don’t laugh.”
“I didn’t.”
“You were going to.”
“I absolutely was not.”
His mouth twitched.
Evie sat at the island.
For a few seconds the three of them existed in the kitchen as if none of them knew why.
Then Celeste found crackers and cheese and put them on a plate.
Evie ate six crackers.
Daniel watched the coffee.
Finally he said, “How long?”
Evie stopped chewing.
Celeste closed her eyes.
Daniel looked at his daughter.
“How long has he been hurting you?”
Evie counted backward.
The first shove had happened nine months after the wedding.
But before that there had been the hotel hallway, where he had grabbed her wrist hard enough to leave marks.
Before that, the phone he had thrown into the pool.
Before that, the first time he called her stupid and then spent an entire Sunday making pancakes because she cried.
Before that, the engagement party when he whispered that she was flirting with one of Daniel’s employees.
Before that—
“I don’t know.”
Daniel’s face tightened.
“That’s not possible.”
Evie looked at him.
He realized what he had said.
“I mean—”
“I know what you mean.”
“Evie.”
“I don’t know when it became what you would call abuse.”
Daniel looked down.
“The first time he scared me was before we were married.”
Celeste made a small sound.
Evie turned toward her.
Her mother gripped the counter.
“You knew.”
“No.”
“You knew something.”
Celeste shook her head.
“Not this.”
“What did you know?”
Silence.
Daniel turned.
“Celeste.”
She looked at him.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t make me answer you like you weren’t here for any of it.”
His expression changed.
Evie looked between them.
“For any of what?”
Celeste pulled out a chair.
She sat slowly.
“The engagement dinner,” she said.
Evie remembered it immediately.
Not because anything dramatic had happened.
Because the salmon had been overcooked and Daniel had complained about it all the way home.
Grant had disappeared with Evie into a service corridor at the restaurant for perhaps seven minutes.
He had accused her of making him look foolish.
She had returned with red marks on her wrist.
Celeste had noticed.
“I asked you,” Celeste said.
Evie nodded.
“You asked if my bracelet was too tight.”
“I was giving you a way to tell me.”
“No. You were giving me a way not to.”
Celeste looked wounded.
Evie hated herself for feeling satisfied.
Daniel said, “I didn’t see anything.”
Celeste turned on him.
“You saw her crying in the car.”
“She said she was tired.”
“And you accepted that because you wanted to.”
Daniel stood.
“You did too.”
“I know.”
That stopped him.
Celeste looked at Evie.
“I knew he was jealous. I knew he had a temper. I knew sometimes you changed after he came into a room.”
“Changed how?”
“You became careful.”
Evie stared at the plate.
One cracker had broken into three clean pieces.
Celeste continued.
“I told myself it was adjustment. Marriage. Two people learning each other.”
“You told me every marriage has ugly weeks.”
“Yes.”
“Mine had ugly years.”
Celeste nodded.
“I know.”
“No. You know now.”
“Yes.”
Evie pushed the plate away.
Daniel walked to the sink, then back.
He had never been good at staying seated when frightened.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
Evie laughed once.
“Because you put him through a table tonight.”
Daniel froze.
“That happened after he threatened you.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I knew what you’d do.”
“What did you think I’d do?”
“This.”
“I would have stopped him.”
“You would have taken over.”
Daniel stared.
Evie pressed her fingers into her temples.
“I couldn’t survive Grant and then survive you fixing Grant.”
His face emptied.
“That isn’t fair.”
“I know.”
It was the first time she had said those words to him and not meant them as surrender.
Daniel sat.
May you like
Evie looked at her father and felt two opposite things.
She loved him.
