Chương 10
Then Lydia sat.
Her attorney placed a folder on the table.
The lawyers handled procedural matters first.
Nora barely heard them.
She watched Lydia’s hands.
No rings.
Short nails.
A faint scar near the base of her thumb.
Ordinary hands.
Hands that had grabbed the strap across Nora’s newborn son.
Finally Lydia looked at her.
“How is he?”
Nora’s body tightened.
“You don’t get to ask that yet.”
Lydia nodded.
“All right.”
Silence.
Nora had rehearsed many things.
None sounded right in the room.
So she asked the question that had bothered her most.
“Why did you wait in the hallway?”
Lydia looked down.
“You knew Ethan asked you to leave.”
“Yes.”
“You knew I was coming.”
“Yes.”
“You could have gone.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Lydia pressed her lips together.
Her attorney shifted slightly.
Lydia ignored him.
“I thought if I saw you, I could make you understand.”
“Understand what?”
“That there would be consequences.”
“For having his child?”
“For entering his life.”
“I was already in his life.”
“That’s what I couldn’t accept.”
Nora sat back.
Lydia looked toward the blank wall.
“When our father got sick, Ethan disappeared.”
Nora frowned.
“He was here.”
“Physically.”
Lydia’s voice remained steady.
“I handled the nurses. The specialists. The accountants. The board. Dad’s temper. Ethan would come sit with him for an hour, and Dad would calm down because Ethan was there. Then Ethan would leave and everyone would tell me how wonderful it was that he came.”
Nora said nothing.
“After Dad died, Ethan inherited control because Dad trusted him more.”
“That wasn’t Ethan’s choice.”
“No.”
Lydia smiled bitterly.
“That’s what he always says.”
“You’re angry at your brother.”
“Yes.”
“So you attacked me.”
Lydia flinched.
“No.”
Nora waited.
Lydia closed her eyes.
Then opened them.
“I attacked you because I thought you were another person he would love while I handled the consequences.”
The room stayed still.
“That doesn’t make sense,” Nora said.
“I know.”
“Good.”
“I know it doesn’t.”
“You thought I was going to take him away from you?”
“No.”
Lydia looked almost embarrassed.
“I thought you were going to give him an excuse to leave.”
“Leave what?”
“Us.”
The word was small.
Nora had expected money.
Status.
Control.
Something ugly and easy.
Not that.
Lydia continued before Nora could answer.
“I saw what he was like with you. He stopped calling me about everything. He stopped asking me to fix things. You probably think that should have made me happy.”
“I don’t think about your happiness much.”
A surprised laugh escaped Lydia.
It vanished quickly.
“Fair.”
Nora looked at her.
“Why the money?”
“To make you go away.”
“That part I understood.”
“I told myself it was because you would eventually ask for more.”
“I never asked for anything.”
“I know.”
“Did that make you angry?”
“Yes.”
Nora blinked.
Lydia looked at the table.
“If you had been obvious, it would have been easier.”
“Obvious how?”
“Demanding. Manipulative. Stupid.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
Another almost-laugh.
This one looked painful.
“You did.”
Nora folded her hands.
“What about the reporter?”
“I didn’t send the allegation.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know who did?”
“No.”
“Did you use it as an excuse to scare me?”
Lydia swallowed.
“Yes.”
That was the first clean admission Nora had heard from her.
No modification.
No minimizing.
“Yes.”
Nora felt unexpectedly tired.
“Why did you shove me in the garage?”
Lydia’s eyes became wet.
“You said you were calling Ethan.”
“So?”
“I knew what he would think if you told him I was there.”
“You mean he would know you ignored him.”
“Yes.”
“And then?”
“You tried to get past me.”
“And then?”
Lydia looked directly at her.
“I grabbed you.”
“And?”
“You pulled away.”
“And?”
“I pushed you.”
The room felt smaller.
Nora kept her voice level.
“And then?”
“You hit the car.”
“And what did you say?”
Lydia’s mouth trembled.
She remembered.
Nora saw it.
“Say it.”
Lydia’s attorney started to speak.
Lydia lifted a hand.
He stopped.
She looked at Nora.
“I said, ‘Look what you made me do.’”
Nora’s throat tightened.
Lydia whispered, “I’m sorry.”
The apology did not heal anything.
It did not even feel good.
It simply existed between them.
Nora looked at Lydia for a long time.
“I believed you for about twelve hours.”
Lydia frowned.
“Believed what?”
“That I had made you do it.”
Lydia’s face changed.
Nora continued.
“I had just had a baby. I was bleeding. I hadn’t slept. I drove home thinking maybe I had been too rude. Maybe I shouldn’t have threatened to call Ethan. Maybe if I’d just listened for five minutes—”
“No.”
The word came out sharp.
Lydia leaned forward.
“No.”
Nora stopped.
Lydia’s eyes filled.
“You did not make me do that.”
Nora looked at her.
Something in her chest loosened.
Not forgiveness.
Something smaller.
A knot she had not admitted was there.
Lydia pressed both palms against the table.
“I did that.”
Nora nodded.
“Yes.”
They sat in silence.
The attorneys said nothing.
Eventually Nora asked, “Do you hate me?”
Lydia seemed startled.
“No.”
“Did you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he chose you.”
Nora almost smiled.
“He didn’t.”
Lydia frowned.
Nora looked toward the window.
“Not at first.”
Understanding moved slowly across Lydia’s face.
“No,” she said.
“He chose comfort. Then he chose secrecy. Then he chose the baby. Then he stood in a hallway and finally chose me for about thirty seconds.”
Lydia’s mouth twisted.
“That sounds like Ethan.”
“Now he’s learning to choose differently.”
“You’re still with him.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Lydia looked at her.
For the first time there was no challenge in it.
Only curiosity.
Nora did not answer the unasked question.
The meeting ended without reconciliation.
Nora did not hug Lydia.
Lydia did not ask to see the baby.
Their attorneys agreed on practical boundaries regarding contact and records.
The criminal matter continued through ordinary channels.
May you like
No family arrangement erased it.
Nora walked out into bright afternoon sunlight feeling neither victorious nor destroyed.
